There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
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He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
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I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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