sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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