everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
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Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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