I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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