FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
