We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
