Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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