his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
