It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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