I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize