I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She's not a foreskin expert like you
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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