This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Randomize