the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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