Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
