this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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