My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
