whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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