After last night, I could never be a politician.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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