so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
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She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
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I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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