don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize