i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
