I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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