he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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