At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
