My first STD was from a foam party
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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