Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
