She said her name was "party"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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