its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?