even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
