I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
