So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
please come you make the beer taste better
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
