Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
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