I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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