When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Where did you get a picture of my penis
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize