Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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