Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
you never un-have a 4some
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
