yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
