He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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