oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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