my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
