The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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