All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
