Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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