Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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