the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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