She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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