I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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