Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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