Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
