We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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