i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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