I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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