the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
