Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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